1. Start Discussions softly If you don’t want your partner to get suspicious and angry, then, to a certain extent, simply don’t start a discussion in a way that would make any person defensive and angry. Complaining about a definite problem or behavior is okay. But criticizing is when you near the issue as an imperfection in your partner. Telling somebody, you don’t like their manners is appropriate and essential. Accusing them of being a sprite-generated succubus fake from an unholy pact in the darkest pits of the netherworld is, shall we say, less than constructive. Even if you are right, being self-righteous doesn’t aid. Focus on the problem, not the person. And be gentle. 2. Stay Calm I am familiar with it more straightforwardly thought than done. But this is huge. The ability to stay calm during conflict showed the most significant association with relationship happiness. Gottman calls it “circulate physiological arousal.” w...
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